Thursday, November 27, 2008

Britney speaks about Kevin Federline to Rolling Stone and MTV

There's an understanding among those who know Britney well: When she's blond, she's happy. When she's brunette, she's sad. When she's pink, she's crazy. Her hair was back to glowing and golden this fall, when she spent her time diligently shuttling back and forth from her Beverly Hills mansion to dance rehearsals and video shoots and recording studios, in preparation for her new album, Circus. It was a complete transformation, following a year in which she spent a month in rehab, endured a brutal custody battle with her ex-husband Kevin Federline and careened toward a massive — and very public — meltdown that culminated in two involuntary psychiatric hospitalizations in January.

"I feel like an old person now," she says one afternoon, as a manicurist applies rhinestones and girly pink lacquer to her chewed-up nails. "I do! I go to bed at, like, 9:30 every night, and I don't go out or anything, you know what I mean? I just feel like an old fart."
The beauty rest has done her well: In a Hollywood recording studio in September, dressed in black jeans, platform heels and a bedazzled hoodie, Spears looks more like her former self than she has in years. She has makeup on, but it's faded just enough that it could be yesterday's. She says she's considering lopping off the weave she's worn since shaving her head in 2007, and when she counts up her tattoos — "Seven! Oh, my God, y'all!" — she falls back into the couch giggling, kicking her feet in the air.

Spears has always been like this: silly, sweet, humble. She has never been very articulate, but she always tries to be accommodating. Tonight, she's listening to mixes and finishing work on a track called "Lace and Leather." When I ask how she knows if a song is going to be a hit, she says, "You just hear it, and you're like, oh, my God, if somebody else takes this song, you're gonna kill yourself, you know what I mean? Like, this one I'm doing tonight, I think it's good, and it's, like, really quirky and different and girly."

"A little naughty," says her manager, Larry Rudolph, 45, sitting nearby in a T-shirt and jeans.

"A little naugh-tay," Spears agrees, sounding half-embarrassed.

There are differences in Britney, too, from the last time I saw her, in 2006, when we hung out in her New York hotel room watching American Idol while her son Sean Preston crawled around on the bed nearby. She is shyer, more guarded, remote — like the old Britney but with the volume turned way down. Her last hit single, "Piece of Me," dealt with her public image ("I'm Miss Bad Media Karma/Another day, another drama"), but she says she's not sure she wants to include anything so revealing on Circus. "It's scary to put yourself out there and be like, 'Oh, God, is that cool?' If you're not going to really go for it, you can't just go there halfway." And then, as though changing her mind midthought, she adds, "But sometimes, when you go for it, you can't lose."

Of all the things Britney has lost in the past year, it's the custody of her sons, Sean Preston, 3, and Jayden, 2, that has shaken her hardest. "Every time they come to visit me, I think about how they're such special people," says Spears, who currently sees the boys three days a week, with one overnight stay. "Like, they're going to preschool now! I went there to pick them up on Friday, and seeing them in their little classroom and seeing Jayden being bad or not listening? It's like, those are mine, and it's just crazy, you know what I mean? And the things that are coming out of their mouths right now — they're learning so much, and it's new, and you never know what they're going to say, and they're so smart yet so innocent. They're obsessed with monsters, and every night we look outside, and we have to show them that there's no monsters out there. It's dark outside, but there's nothin' out there, you know?"

Ever since she was a little girl growing up in Kentwood, Louisiana, Spears dreamed of having her own children. She considered the experience "the closest thing to God," she said in 2004 in a note on her fan site. "To be a really good mom, I feel your child needs to be your full-time job. I want to raise my kids and share all of those precious moments with them."

But things haven't turned out like she imagined. "I didn't think my husband was gonna leave me," she says, deadpan. She laughs to break the tension. "Otherwise, I'd be with my babies 24/7. But since they're almost like twins, they both take care of each other. I think they look like me," she says, going from affectionate to bitter as she gets distracted by thoughts of Federline, whom she sees only when one of them is picking up the boys. "They don't look like their father at all," she continues. "And it's weird 'cause they're starting to learn words like 'stupid,' and Preston says the f-word now sometimes. He doesn't get it from us. He must get it from his daddy. I say it, but not around my kids."

Of course, Britney hasn't quite turned out to be a model parent, either, and it was her own erratic behavior that led to her losing custody. During Britney's second trip to the psych ward, when her dad, Jamie, wanted to convince her to let him take control of her life, he told her he would help her get her babies back. He and attorney Andrew Wallet filed for a legal conservatorship that makes them responsible for overseeing her finances and her personal life — Britney today has about as many legal rights as when she was in the Mickey Mouse Club. She is watched over day and night by security guards Jamie hired (and she's paying for); it's also rumored that Britney's phone calls are closely monitored and that she's not allowed to drive her own Mercedes. Recently, says one source with ties to the Britney camp, Jamie fired a guard who let the singer use his phone. (Her rep denies the claim.)


In a new clip from Britney Spears' forthcoming documentary, "For the Record," that has made its way online, the singer opens up about her two-year marriage to Kevin Federline, and how in retrospect it probably wasn't the best decision she could have made at the time.

"I think I married for all the wrong reasons," she says in the 90-minute documentary, set to air on MTV on November 30, just two days before the release of her new LP, Circus. "Instead of following my heart and, like, doing something that made me really happy. I just did it because ... for just, like, the idea of everything."

In the clip she also talks about what the album means for her, after several tumultuous years in the spotlight. "It's weird because your music is a reflection of what you're going through," she says. "It's such a part of me, the record, 'cause of what I've gone through."

In another clip, Spears talks about how she uses her work as a dancer and singer to deal with the stress of her life and how it helps her deal with her emotions. She said that for her, dancing is like therapy. "If I have a lot of nervous energy, when I start dancing it all goes away and I just feel emotion. It's like a rollercoaster," she says. "People think that when you go through something in life you have to go to therapy. For me, art is therapy, because it's like you're expressing yourself in such a spiritual way.

"Sometimes you don't need to use words to go through what you need to go through," she continues. "Sometimes it's an emotion you need to feel when you dance, that you need to touch. And the only thing that can touch it is when you move a certain way."

In previously released clips, Spears addresses her reasons for making the special now. "There's a lot people don't know about me that I want them to know. ... I've been through a lot in the last two or three years. I've grown up, bigtime," she says.

She also talks about being a public figure and having every moment of her life documented by the media. "I don't think anyone can prepare themselves for what stardom brings," she says, adding, "Do I know my life is weird? It's all I've ever known."


I've had a couple of days to absorb these new clips - my first reaction was irritation. She divorces a guy at pretty much the worst possible time and in the worst possible way and then claims it was him who left her. He was literally in the middle of interviews about how they would last. Rumor has it the text message he got wasn't even from Britney, it was from a friend who saw it on the news. But the initial reaction is gone, and now I'm just feeling a little sad and disappointed.

Britney may say she's grown up, I'm not seeing it. It's still about "what I've been through," I'm not seeing that she has too much of a sense of what she has put others through, including her children. Instead of regret, it's just a childish lashing out because some things happened that she didn't like. In her mind she probably does see it as Kevin leaving her, because that way she doesn't need to take any responsibility. Based on more rumors, I think she probably wanted him back after filing for divorce and he refused, so in a way it's true. But she seems to have no sense of her role in the end of the relationship. And even her responsibilities as a parent seem strange to her. As for the beginning of Kevin and Britney's relationship, I don't doubt she was in a rush to get married. Lucky for her she picked a decent guy who is now capable of taking care of their children. It would be nice if she appreciated that.

Despite all that, I'm happy for Britney's professional success. I hope it makes her happy and I hope it will be good for her healthwise. I'm no longer hoping for a Kevin and Britney reunion, for Kevin's sake, I think he can do much better. But I hope they can continue to work on their relationship as co-parents and possibly even friendship, I don't see a lot of progress so far, but there is always the future.


Vicki Nicole said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Vicki Nicole said...

Alisan I agree with you completely.

I had the same reaction at the "my huband left me line"

it was very very publically known that she left him, in fact I think she even admitted it at some point. That man would have stayed with her forever and TRIED to work it out. He would have TRIED no matter what. Till she filed divorce. How heartbreaking that must have been for him. Does she even think about how that may have made him feel?

I do think she's frustrated with the way her life has turned out and although to some extent she accepts the blame , on another hand she still wants to blame all the men who have ever been in her life.

She wont get better untill she realizes that she is repsonsible for her actions and reactions to other people. No one else.

I also agree that she should thank her lucky charms that she didn't marry someone who eposed to the public all her crazy ways and then not only took her children but 90% of her income.

Despite what some may WANT to think of him, Kevin only accepts enough cild support/alimony to keep their boys in the same lifestyle they have at their mothers. He HAS to pay for their security and nanny. Those are NOT choices. He HAS to keep his kids safe. So I think despite that people may make fun of how much he gets, he's probably like "fuck what people think, my kids need to be safe".

And despite that, he still TRIES to work, those club appearances and tv appearances, are PAID work for him, he still "tries" to bring in SOME income, he's not just sitting back on his ass living the high life.

Let me tell you, it aint easy getting a job if your name is KEVING FEDERLINE, not to mention despite the nanny he DOES take care of THOSE kids. He can't go out in public with them much for safety reasons, so he has a nanny that can take them for walks , etc.. in public. He wants his kids to live as normal a life as possible and that includes them being able to play outside dspite their parents infamy.

Honestly, I love Britney, she and I have alot in common and I identify and have empathy for her, but although she's thinks she is doing better and fine, her interviews are revealing WHY her father has PERMANENT conservatorship.

It's cause she's still somewhat delusional.

Catie said...

I agree with you Alison and Vicki Nicole.
Britney is acting like a spoiled child. She got married for the idea? Maybe she got divorced just for the idea too??
She should stop thinking only about herself and think about her children and family too.
She is complaining about feeling like a prisoner and being unable to go out when she wants to. She should be thanking her father for saving her life. If it was not for him, she wouldn't have visitation with her kids. And she keeps saying that Kevin has a negative effect on kids. But she is the one who lost custody, locked herself up with Jayden and put her kids in danger. Doesn't she realise that saying bad things about her children's father can have a negative effect on her kids too. When they'll get older, they'll see these things she said about Kevin. And what will they learn from her??
How to talk shit about other people? Oh c'mon she can't even take care of her kids alone, because she can be a danger to them.
Sb should do a live interview with her, so ppl could see how she is acting in reality when she has to answer a personal question. Oh but her ppl will never let her do that, because they know that she is mentally unstable and she would start acting crazy.
These interviews she has given recently assured me that she is selfish and she did't learn anyting from things that had happened in the past.

Kelly said...

I haven't posted here in a while, I've been so busy with work and all it's hard to even get 5 sec on the ccomputer these days.

Alison, I totally agree with you and Vicki, I knew Britney was going to come out and say things like that,it's not the first time and it won't be the last, it's a way for her to cover up stupidity and/or her so-called illness, Kevin has been extremely descent and accomodating these past couple of years, but Britney feels the need to get the public sympathy, so she's coming out acting like she is the victim and everything that happen is somebody elses fault. The first time she got married she said she wanted to see how it is and it was a mistake, now after she push herself between a man and the woman of his child who was pregnant with his second, then married him, had 2 kids with him, then dump him in the most humiliating way possible, she's coming out and rubbing salt into the wound of the ppl she hurt and took advantage of.

Britney has no regards to anybody's feeling but her own, Thank God those boys will be around ppl other than her and her selfish and insensitivity towards other ppl, I think Britney should just shutup, because her words and actions contradict eachother.

Unfortunately, it's not the last time anyone is going to hear her in an interview saying "what was I thinking" or "it was a mistake" over the past few years she has said those phrases so much, it has became laughable each time she says it, it's such a joke, but I hope one of these days she will wake up and start taking responsiblities for her actions and stop pointing fingers.

I'm praying for her, because of the children, And I'm praying for Kevin, that God will give him the strenght to deal with his ex-wife, and to teach his children how to be honest and desent human beings.

I hope if Kevin ever get back together with Shar she don't cry wolf since it was all a "mistake".

Daisy said...

I felt the same way reading those comments. I thought she left him, she was one who one who filed for divorce. Maybe she meant she didn't know he was going to leave as in, she didn't know he'd be away, that she wouldn't be with him anymore?

I do agree that she tends to blame others, she always has in the last few years and I think that's part of her problem.

In a way I hope there was more to their split than just that he wasn't at home a lot, that is no good reason to end a marriage, especially when there are children involved. Judging by her act on impulse personality though I wouldn't be surprised. I think Kevin and the children are the ones who ended up suffering in this but unfortunately as she is the one people love, everyone will follow her and blame him and everyone else with her.

Anonymous said...

she is bitter and she refuse to move on with her life. Good for him for dumping her and she has the face to tell the world she got dump. she is a horible mother and the judge was righ tto take those boys from this nut job. she is bitter and I luv how kevin ignore her and live his life.

ObviousGirl said...

Granted I agree with what a lot of you are saying; but we have to remember that Britney is suffering from a mental disorder that, in my opinion, hasn't been properly treated since she won't spend time in a private facility to get properly checked out, diagnosed with what mental or mood disorder she's suffering from. She may think that dancing and performing is a great form of therapy for her; but that's just an escape from dealing with her own personal demons and everything that she’s been through and how she hurt others and herself. (Kevin and the boys were not the only ones suffering from her past actions everyone close to her and herself as well are suffering in the aftermath of it all.) She’s not fully well and she seems like she needs to set down with a real doctor and explore everything that’s happened in her life. She seems sad, nervous, jaded, scared, lonely, etc. If she is bipolar like the press keeps trying to say that she is (granted not everyone who is bipolar acts the same way), then it makes sense that she's not going to accept blame because she's still seeing things from a skewed point of view. So it would make sense for her to think back then and right now think that Kevin left her when in reality he was just going on tour or just out with his friends; but that's not what it felt like to her. I honestly think that if someone would’ve caught Britney before she started to spiral down and drive love ones away that she and Kevin would still be together.

As for the marriage comment at least she said ‘I think I married for the wrong reason’ I took that to mean she’s not sure of the reasons as to why she was in such a rush to get married. She probably wished that she would’ve waited like her mom wanted her to. And believe it or not; but there are a lot of people out there who run out and get engaged and married for the wrong reasons or because they're fixated with the idea of marriage and married life. At least she didn’t do what Madonna and tell a magazine that she got married for all the wrong reason, while she was still married.

I don’t get the feeling she wants to play victim, she’s just saying that that’s what she feels her life is like and she hasn’t said anything hateful about Kevin or their relationship. Yeah there’s the whole ‘then my husband left me’; but doesn’t seem like a shot at Kevin (and I have yet to see anything where she insinuates or flat out says Kevin is a bad influence on the kids), it’s just how she sees things right now. I’m not saying she’s right and that she needs to be absolved for all her mistakes and coddled but she doesn’t need to be burned at the stake either. It’s just starting to feel like you guys are pouncing on her words (and blowing them out of proportion) just like Kevin haters do every time he even dares to take a breath and you guys should be better than this. Try walking in her shoes or looking at her world and life through her eyes before you start to bag on her or insultingly question the validity of her having a mental disorder. If you’re concerned about Kevin then why not show that concern and rspect by not bashing his ex-wife and mother of his two sons.

Anonymous said...

he left to go in failed career he has no job from 5 years loserrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Alison said...

ObviousGirl - I certainly agree that Britney is still not well. I guess it's just all a little frusterating and even a bit scary because there are so many people affected by it, as you say, including two small boys.

I also agree that therapy would help her work through some of her issues and I hope she gets it. She doesn't seem to really have a good grasp of the current situation. In the Glamour interview she talks about finding a "father figure" for her boys. It's like she has decided to erase Kevin from her mind, when we all know Kevin will always be a part of her life, and is probably the most important person in her son's lives. That's what I see when she says they don't look like him too.

Kevin says in his People interview that he was scared of how much power she had. It's not really her, I think it's mainly Larry, and it scares me how much power he has too. I see it from Kevin's point of view because Larry is SO amazingly good at manipulating public perception, and you combine that with Britney's delusions and you get a pretty darn scary situation.

I do wish Britney well. But I don't like her saying thing like Kevin taught SP bad words - how do you think SP will feel about that? Mommy is mad at Daddy and it's MY fault. It's just not cool and makes me angry. At the end of the day I care about those kids well being more than Britney. They are completely 100% innocent.

That's my rambling for today.. as I said in my comments.. there is always the future and I hope it is brighter.

Vicki Nicole said...

I have always felt a familiarity with Britney.

I too have been diagnosed as depressed and bipolar, so it is not as if I have no empathy for her.

I do NOT like the way the public has demonized Kevin when he has shown over and over again that he is a decent human being.

He refused to coddle her when he saw that it was doing her more harm than good.

He did not leave her when she was abusive (physically and verbally) towards him.

She left HIM.

For Britney to say even the tiniest of insinuations that kevin is wrong (he left me, the boys learn curse words from him) is irritating, frustrating and in some ways scary for her little boys.

She doesn't need people defending her or making excuses for her behavior.

She needs to just stick with her medication, go to formal therapy and count her lucky stars that she has a ex husband that wants her in their children's lives even though he has FULL CUSTODY of them.

Anonymous said...

^^^ I think that is a great way to say it, Britney doesn't need people making excuses for her. She needs people who will talk to her straight. Ironically, Kevin may have been one of the best things to happen to her because he did talk to her straight. He wanted her to hold up her end of the relationship and didn't coddle her. Maybe he wanted more than she could ultimately give him.

It's a shame because I'm not sure the people in Britney's life right now care as much about her mental health as they do about making her career successful, and yet again, I suspect too many people are just telling her what she wants to hear instead of the truth.