Monday, April 30, 2007

E! Talks To Kevin During Axe Promotion

Let’s check in on Kevin Federline's latest loony gig and how he’s doing after his split with Brit. The always charming K-Fed chats about being a father figure and a single, albeit family man.

Kevin Federline might be a force of nature.
There, I said it.
In fact, I'm beginning to have an inkling as to why Britney and Shar Jackson got knocked up so many times by the fertile Fed. Either that, or what went down during my chat with him Wednesday is a very strange coincidence.
See, K-Fed was promoting the newly relaunched Axe Body Spray at Hollywood and Highland. You’ve seen the salacious commercials, right? They feature hot, horny gals going wild with animalistic attraction to some Joe Schmo wearing Axe...thus, the “Axe effect.”
Well, let me tell you about the Kevin Federline effect. He pulled up to the event in a black SUV with shiny silver rims, sporting some serious bling and surrounded by way too many bodyguards. Guess life post-Brit’s purse strings ain’t so shabby after all. A 60-foot inflatable can of Axe that doubled as a moon bouncer was on hand, and inside was Kevin, frolicking with the Axe Angels in between interviews.

It was like a wet dream produced and directed by Deuce Bigelow himself. Trying to rally for the randy revelry, I popped a rhetorical one: “How’s the single life treating you?” I asked Brit’s ex, who’s been spotted lately frolicking with femmes from Sin City to South Beach.
“It’s all right,” he demurred, before throwing me for a Father Knows Best loop. “But I see it more like the life of Daddy, because it’s all about the kids right now.”In a flash, I saw how this guy rolls: Hardass baddie on the outside, warm fuzzy daddy on the inside. A study in contradictions! A complex, multifaceted man—how brilliant!
"So, what’s your favorite part about being a father?” I found myself asking, drawn into his image-crafting lair.
He bit, and eagerly. “I like everything—the hardships, the good times. I like being able to play around and watch my kids laugh and scream. It’s hard to say to somebody who doesn’t have kids...I don’t know if you do or you don’t.”
Whoa there, K-Fed! Is this how it all starts? I informed him that I definitely do not—and that I intended on keeping it that way for quite some time, thankyouverymuch.

“But once you have a child, that’s your whole life,” he purred, laying the whole proud-parent bit on thick. Hmmm...this is the same sleazeball who ditched Shar for Brit when she was expecting their second kiddo, right?
“How has being a father changed you?” I tossed out, testing his newfound PR prowess.
“It’s definitely grounded me,” he said. “Everything wild that I used to do got canceled, thrown out the running around the house wearing panties around your head.”

And as if on cue, a wiley gust of wind from one of the power blowers inflating the display began to blow up my gauzy skirt. Thankfully, there was no chance of a Brit's-bits moment, as my nether regions were strategically cotton covered (a neat little trick I learned from my mom, called underwear—you should try it some time, Britney). But still!
Even when he’s pretending to be Mac Daddy of the Year, semi-scandalous stuff manages to happen.
“Uh-oh,” Kevin smirked. “You’re about to have a Marilyn Monroe moment. It’s the body spray.”
Scary! Could simply being in the vicinity of K-Fed cause women to involuntarily bare their skin and lose their clothes? I wasn't willing to test the theory any further.
I bit the bullet and went for my final question: How’s Britney?
“I can’t really talk about that,” he said, so predictably. “I try to keep that private.”
Well, K-Fed, I try to keep certain things private too, so I ended my interview and booked it back to the office.
Oh, almost forgot to tell you: Kevin’s fabulous future plans include attending the Kentucky Derby. He said he’d never been before and would be heading there sans sons to bet on the horses.
So, all you lovely ladies of Louisville, hold on to your hats and skirts—you’ve been warned!



Daisy said...

She clearly doesn't want to admit he's actually a nice guy :p But I laughed at the bit when he asked her if she had kids.

Anonymous said...

he sucks...
talk in a way and act in another

Kelly said...

I saw that interveiw, he was absolutely sweet, ONE LOVE.

Anonymous said...

Everything wild went out the window when he had kids? Are you fucking kidding me? This is the same guy who partied and went out while both his women were pregnant (Shar has confirmed that he went out with the boys at least a few times a week, even while she was pregnant and afterwards)! This is the same man who left a pregnant woman and his young child to go prancing around and "live the good life" and to hell with his child, baby mama, and the one on the way.

And this couldn't possibly be the same man who was rarely seen with his 3rd child until the beginging of this year....Spears had the child with her 24/7...and pictorial proof shows "daddy dearest" out partying, hanging with the boys, blowing money in Vegas, Miami, NY, and who knows where else...away from all of his children...Let alone that his last child...he wasn't around much (agian, pictures are a bitch it's hard to argue with timestamps and all!).

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! You K-Fed douchebags don't even understand that your failed rapper has been dissed.

Anonymous said...

He was doing the same thing before as he is doing now, working. It may have been for pure fun occasionally, but most of the time he was being paid or promoting or meeting people about his CD, WWE, CSI spot, etc. He had Britney's full support. His younger days may not have been like that, but nobody becomes as successful a dancer as he is without knowing how to focus and get things done.

Anonymous said...

If he had Britney's full support for his partying ways they wouldn't be divorced right now. Idiots.

He changed his tune. When he was married he said he wanted the women to watch the kids and liked to go out to let off steam. He also wasn't "working" when he was out with girls at that old apartment his friends lived at after Jayden was born. You can call it "working" but all it is is partying. Get a real job K-Fug.

Anonymous said...

Whatever. Believe the tabloids if you want. Britney divorced him because she's a big baby, thinks she's too good for the men out there who can't handle a "real" woman.

Anonymous said...

and 2.11 you know this becuase you are some kind of insider or nothing ... i mean come on look at this guy in the eyes HE ALWAYS LOOKS STONED! just being real