There have been a lot of stories about Britney lately, and I have been holding my tongue partly because some of it is rumors and it's hard to know for sure, and partly because I wanted to just focus on Kevin. But the truth is, Britney is the mother of two of Kevin's sons, they are in the middle of deciding custody, and Britney's actions do affect everyone around her.
First of all, I'd like to make it clear that I would like nothing better than to see a strong, responsible Britney. She's a very interesting artist, I suspect she has some excellent songs to put on her upcoming 5th studio album. I'd like to see her succeed both professionally and personally, not only for herself, but for her sons as well.
That being said, I have to say I'm not feeling a lot of sympathy for her right now. I think she's far too comfortable in the "victim" role, and has been for a long time now. Part of the problem is that I think this behaviour has been reinforced by those around her. Britney does something extreme, like marrying Jason, or even dying her hair without telling anyone when she has an event coming up, and everyone swoops in. It's worked for her every time she's wanted attention. She may not think of it this way, but when someone continues to do things that seem bad for them, there's always something positive they are getting out of it.
Felicia's letter (her long time assistant), posted on That Other Blog, reinforces this opinon I have of Britney.
Once again I commend you for your Honesty and Integrity. I have been reading your new website daily and am grateful to have that to go to, to check on the antics of Britney. Britney doesnt have a Publicist for me to clear this thru first, so it will come directly from my heart to you!
I am writing in response to Where is Felicia on your editorial.I am home in Mississippi.I am now a trained Corporate Flight Attendant and fly with a tiny jet company out of Georgia. I am also a substitute Preschool Teacher at the Church Preschool in my town. I LOVED being with Britney for the past 9 1/2 years. I enjoyed being a part of HER dream, but now, am living my own dream.
I cherish ALL the incredible opportunities that came my way thru my job with Britney and am crushed/saddened/heart sick by the way her life is unfolding.
I want you to know Ruben that WE (as in her Family and nearest and dearest ALL of whom are NOT on the payroll anymore!!) are doing EVERYTHING in our power to get help for Britney and all in our power to NOT pad the bottom or move the bottom, so when she does indeed hit rock bottom, shell stand up and walk away from this whole fiasco a new, confident, changed, career driven Britney like we all knew and loved.
Theres just so much you can do to help a person dont dare want to be an enabler, and I cannot love her enough for the both of us. I cannot convince her in ANY way to love herself. All I can do is be a friend, someone that loved her for MANY years unconditionally, and PRAY. That, I have decided is the most and best I can do for my friend. I cannot save her from herself, nor can I commit her to any type of treatment program against her wishes and will. I am throwing my hands up and realizing that I am helpless over another ANYONE!
Its been a hard reality for me to face. I have lived my best example daily, and that is ALL Im capable of. To see whats transpiring now, makes me feel a failure, defeated. I LOVED and BELIEVED in what I was a part of for the past 10 years and was so incredibly proud of Britney and all shed become.
All that to say this Ruben, Im so Southern, and the BEST way for me to tell you how I feel is to say "You can just kick an old Dog so many times before he gets off the porch. I, FELICIA, am OFF the porch!!"
Thank you for ALL youve done. ALL the love and support over the years. ALL the non-judgement and ALL the Honesty!
PLEASE let me know if theres ANYTHING I can do to repay your kindness. With as much sincerity as I can Muster,
FEIt's easy to think of Britney as a victim isn't it? She has received a lot of undeserved, bad press over the years, and she hasn't always been treated well by her peers. I think she does have some self-esteem issues, and I suspect she hasn't always received the right kind of support her family while she was growing up. There were pressures for her growing up, financially her family went through some tough times, her father's alcoholism, her parents not getting along.
However, there comes a point, ideally before having children of your own, where you need to stop blaming everyone else and take responsibility for your own life. I suspect Britney is acting out because it's her way of avoiding responsibility. I'm not saying that she's not feeling any pain. But just because someone is in pain does not mean that they are not responsible for their own actions, especially when they have children who need them.
For those Britney fans who still seem to want to blame Kevin for all of this, and there seem to be more than a few, I think they need to be reminded of a few things.
- Britney showed erratic behaviour before she even met Kevin. In fact, I would characterize her as having a Histrionic Personality (look it up).
- Britney asked Kevin to marry her, she was never forced into doing anything she didn't want to do.
- Britney's family and friends supported Britney and Kevin's relationship. Felicia said they had a "wonderful friendship." Her cousin Laura Lynn described Kevin as complimentary and supportive.
- Kevin always backed Britney up in every interview he did. He defended her when people were attacking her about Sean Preston being on her lap in the car. He gave a heartfelt speech about how much Britney meant to him at the end of Chaotic. He always spoke positively about their relationship, even when being honest about a few issues they had. He was honest about himself too.
- Marriage is not an easy business for anyone. It's normal to spend the first few years getting the hang of it. I say this as someone who's been married 5 years. It takes time to learn what your spouse needs from you, and it takes time to find the right balance of doing things for yourself and doing things for your spouse. Britney and Kevin are not the first couple to go through issues related to that. If you stick it out, it's possible to work through these things.
- Kevin didn't want the marriage to end. Despite the fact that he was aware of some of their issues, and despite the fact that Britney couldn't have been the easiest person to be married to, he was in it for the long haul. According the People Yearbook, "he was a sad guy" in Toronto when Britney filed, and he expressed the hope that Britney and the kids "would come and surprise me."
- When Britney filed for divorce, she did it in a very hurtful way. It did not seem like she was thinking ahead about the fact that a positive relationship with Kevin, even if they were divorced, would be best for everyone, especially their two sons.
- When Britney filed for divorce, Kevin's responsibilities as a husband ended. It is not his job to swoop in and "help" Britney. She needs to do that for herself now.
And.. I agree. The victim is not Britney Spears. Kevin could be playing the victim but that's not his style, instead he is very maturely moving forward with his life. The victims in all of this are Sean Preston and Jayden James.
I guess the question now is if Britney should really be the parent spending the most time with their sons right now. That is a question I will leave up to Kevin, Britney, and their lawyers to figure out. Now that a picture of Jayden has leaked, I hope that at least they change the arrangements so that Kevin spends time with his sons outside of Britney's home and they are able to see Kori and Kaleb and their aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. on Kevin's side.