Monday, January 01, 2007

Kevin Federline wins battle against John Cena!

The unthinkable happened tonight on Raw. Controversial hip-hop star Kevin Federline used a huge assist from the Samoan Bulldozer, Umaga, to record an improbable victory over WWE Champion John Cena.


by Richard Trionfo @ 9:22:00 PM on 1/1/2007

The calendar might change to a new year, but if it is Monday night and there are no dog shows on television, we have Monday Night Raw. The year starts the same way that 2006 began, with John Cena as the WWE champion. Instead of getting ready for the Elimination Chamber like he did on the Raw before New Year’s Revolution, he is going to face Kevin Federline before he defends the title against Umaga on Sunday night. What is next between Team RKO and Degeneration X as they get ready for the tag title match at the pay per view? Will Victoria try to make things easier for her title match on Sunday when she faces Mickie James? Will the new year bring out any new surprises on the Raw brand?

We start off tonight’s show with highlights of Kevin Federline’s previous appearances on Raw and the set up for tonight’s match.

We are live from Miami, Florida and your announcers are Jim ‘It’s a Fiesta’ Ross and Jerry ‘K-Fed up’ Lawler.

Before the match, Kevin Federline gets on the mic and he tells Cena that he has some news. He says that he talked to Jonathan Coachman and there is a change in their match. He says that he does not want anything to stop him from beating Cena’s ass so their match will be a no disqualification match. Kevin introduces his personal trainer and friend, Johnny Nitro.

Match Number One: John Cena versus Kevin Federline in a No Disqualification Match

Federline and Cena stand face-to-face in the center of the ring. Nitro gives Federline a mouthpiece before the match. Before they lock up, Nitro gives Federline gloves. Federline takes off his robe and Nitro puts headgear on Federline. The bell finally rings and Cena offers to give Federline the first headlock. Federline cinches in the head lock, but Cena gets out of the hold. Nitro gets on the apron to discuss strategy with Federline. Federline takes off his gloves and Nitro pushes a chair into the ring in front of the referee. Federline wants to do a full nelson challenge. Federline locks in the full nelson and Cena looks incredulous and he escapes the hold when he exerts some energy. Cena wants to lock up and Federline is now ready. Federline wants a test of strength. They lock up and Federline with a take down and cross arm breaker. Cena picks Federline up and he puts Federline on the top turnbuckle. Cena with a clothesline to Nitro followed by a back body drop that sends Nitro to the floor. Federline with a low kick to Cena, but Cena puts Federline in the FU. From out of nowhere, Umaga comes out and he attacks Cena. Estrada brings in the belt while Umaga attacks Cena. The referee leaves the ring momentarily and then he tells Umaga to leave the ring. Umaga hits Cena in the head with the title belt. Umaga leaves the ring with Estrada and Federline covers Cena and gets the three count.

Winner: Kevin Federline

Federline and Nitro leave while Cena is motionless in the ring and we go to commercial.

We are back with a Moments Ago Moment of Umaga interfering in the Cena/Federline match.

We are in the back and Nitro and Federline are walking with a number of women and hangers on. They enter Federline’s locker room. Maria knocks on the door and she wants an interview. Melina stops Maria. Maria wants to know if his victory was tainted by Umaga’s interference. Melina corrects Maria and says that his name is not K-Fed, but it is Kevin Federline. She wonders how someone could say that his victory was tainted because he beat the WWE Champion. Melina wonders who Maria is to take that away from him. Melina has a special present for Federline. Maria wants to know what it is, but Melina slaps Maria.

Jim Ross talks about the controversy from two weeks ago from what Rated RKO did to Degeneration X.

We see Degeneration X in the back and they are talking. Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler wonder if Team RKO will be here tonight.

We return to the celebration and Jonathan Coachman enters. Coachman points out that Federline defeated Cena and he liked the cover. Coachman has something for Nitro and Melina. Cena made a habit out of humiliating them. He says that Cena’s night is not over yet. In the main event, John Cena will face Umaga, Armando Estrada, the Coach, and Johnny Nitro in a four-on-one handicap match. Coach says that Federline started it all, but they will finish it. We go to commercial.




Anonymous said...

That is such BULLSHIT but what do you expect when it is set up! Of course he had to win, using other people, so that in a few months he can come back and Cena can tear him a new one!

Anonymous said...

Well well don't count your chickens hatch looks like Cena knocked his ass out!!!

Anonymous said...

well vince mcmahon's writers were following standard procedure...villian wins with help because he can't do it on his own--then hold it, the hero wreaks his vengeance alone...
then here comes the setup--a pay for view match...

the conspiracy theorist

lashun said...

^^ now I'm thinking that Kevin is gonna show up at New Year's Revolution for some reason.

The Emperor said...

You do know wrestling is fake, right?

Anonymous said...

Of course it's bullshit. But we keep hoping the KFed will fall wrong and break his spinal column.

Anonymous said...

kevin sure did run around like a little girl in the ring for a while