'We stayed with each other for a week. I was supposed to get on a plane to go on tour. I told my mom I didn't want to go on tour. I was like, "I want to stay in
Kevin agreed. There are conflicting stories about the status of Kevin's relationship with Shar at the time. Kevin has claimed that they broke up a few months before, while Shar says he lied to her and left her. We may never know the full story. We do know that Shar and Kevin had a daughter Kori and that Shar was pregnant with their second child Kaleb at the time. We also know that whatever problems Shar may have with Kevin, she has claimed both before and after the divorce that Kevin is a "great dad." As for Britney's history, she had just come out of the scandal where she married Jason Alexander for 55-hours in January, 2004. We were starting to see complaints from her fans that she didn't look as super amazing as she did before and that her heart wasn't really in the tour.
What happened next is documented in "Chaotic", which was filmed for the most part by Kevin and Britney themselves. We watched their relationship grow for the next couple of months while Britney was on the European leg of her tour. In Kevin's first interview in Details magazine, Britney describes what attracted her to Kevin.
Britney: Nothing gets to him ... Not my man. And that's why I married him, because he's not a shallow motherfucker Hollywood actor-guy.
They were engaged in June, 2004. Britney and Kevin describe their proposal as the following:
Britney: It was an intimate conversation, and we'd always talked about how some people don't have to get married when they're in love. ... Then all of a sudden I said, 'What if you want to get married?' And I kind of went from there to asking him if he would marry me. I asked him.
Kevin: And I said no.
Britney: He said no because he thought it wasn't the right way to do it.
Kevin: It wasn't like 'Will you marry me?' It wasn't that straightforward. The way she said it was kind of beating around the bush. Still, I was taken by surprise. I thought the guy was supposed to ask the girl. So a couple of minutes went by and then I asked her. ... I wasn't really thinking about asking her right away, but I did without reservation. I'd known for a while that she's the one.
Britney then picked out and purchased an engagement ring, a $40,000 4 carat cushion-cut diamond ring with a platinum pave setting. Much was made over the fact that Kevin did not buy it for her. Later, Kevin bought her a second engagement ring. In an August, 2006 interview with GQ, Kevin says the following:
Federline laid down many of the tracks in his home recording studio. That way he could pop in and say hello to the baby. "I spend almost all of my money from Chaotic building the studio," he says. (Chaotic was a five-episode reality show on UPN, Frankensteined together with home videos that he and Britney shot on her Onyx Hotel Tour.) "I don't rely on my wife's money," he says. "I don't get any money from my wife." He tells me he made $2 million on the show, most of which he's spend. The first thing he bought was a $200,000 engagement ring for his wife. Then he spent $350,000 building the home studio. And bought his truck. "I'm almost broke," he says. As for the Ferrari he drives (the one with the brake calipers that say FEDERLINE in place of FERRARI), he and his wife split the cost. "As a man, as a male figure and a father, I wouldn't be happy sitting back and living off my wife's fortune," he goes on. "I have to provide for my family. That's something she's had to learn about me."
Kevin and Britney got married in a surprise ceremony on September 18, 2004. Footage can be found in Chaotic. Because so few people knew the ceremony was taking place, legally not everything was ready yet including the prenuptial agreement. US Weekly printed a story about how Britney had faked her marriage, which after Jason many were ready to believe. In fact, it was simply a legal technicality, and the marriage became legal on October 6, 2004.
In January, 2005, Britney became pregnant with Sean Preston. He was born on September 16, 2005, and the following message appeared on britneyspears.com:
“We are ecstatic to announce the birth of our son! Everyone is happy, healthy and doing wonderful. Thank you for all your love and well wishes!!”
The following January, 2006, Britney became pregnant a second time. In an interview with OK magazine issued July 3, 2006, Britney says the following:
Were you surprised how quickly you became pregnant after Sean Preston?
Yes, very surprised, but I was excited! I was a little scared at first because I was shocked because it was so soon. I was like, it’s okay - I love boo boos!
Have you thought about how many kids you would like to have?
I could have three. If I did have three, I would wait a lot to have the next one.
How did Kevin react when he found out you were pregnant again?
He was a little shocked (laughs).
What did he say to you?
He was like, whatever you want to do, baby! He's like, I'm excited for you! Let’s just go for it.
So he was supportive?
We are now a mere 5 months away from Britney filing for divorce. There's a few other events during this time that are worth noting.
First of all, Kevin and Britney were not treated kindly by the tabloids, the radio stations, the talk show hosts, etc. Kevin did not change the way he dressed after he became Britney Spear's husband. He continued to dress as he did during the days as a backup dancer, and pretty much didn't care what anyone said or thought about it. We saw undershirts and pants hanging low. Britney, who had started appearing in public looking less than perfect shortly before her marriage to Kevin, continued along this path. She stopped wearing a bra. Her hair often looked thrown together, and she had skin problems. Her clothing also looked thrown together many times, and she gained weight. There was also the infamous incident where she walked into a public bathroom with no shoes. They started getting the trailer trash nicknames. Kevin was mocked and accused of being an unemployed kept man.
After Sean Preston was born, there were a few months of calm before the next scandal. Britney was pictured driving with
"I'd say she plays mama real well, dude. She's a very good mother. It's like one of those things that comes naturally." As for those photos of her driving with the baby on her lap, he'll defend her to anyone: "You don't know what it's like to be chased by a motorcade of paparazzi. What those magazines don't tell you is that the Starbucks is a minute from the house. If she feels like she gotta take the baby and put him on her lap and get out of there, so be it."
Kevin also began his new career during this time. On January 1, 2006 he debuted his first song, Popozao. It was not highly regarded by the public, to put it lightly. But he was starting to catch the attention of other people. While he continued to work on his album, he started getting some new opportunities. Five Star Vintage hired him as a spokesmodel, and then later re-hired him for the Christmas season. CSI writer Dustin Lee Abraham found himself thinking of the way he has seen Kevin handle the paparazzi while writing a character for an episode, and decided to hire Kevin himself for the job. Kevin was able to do his first ever performance on Teen Choice, and also appeared on many talk shows, including Ellen, Jay Leno, Megan Mullally, and Tyra Banks. He appeared on WWE, and got such high ratings that he has appeared a few more times since and is going to be featured in a match on January 1, 2007. His new album however, released on Halloween, has not done as well and sold 6,500 copies in its first week.
Somewhere in all of this, Britney decided she wanted a divorce. We will probably never know when Britney made this decision, but we do know that the birth of Jayden James was handled in a very different manner as the birth of Sean Preston. This time there was no website announcement. The media had the wrong name for almost two months and they were not corrected. Pictures of Kevin, Britney, and the two boys were taken but were not released.
On November 7, 2006, while Kevin was appearing on Much Music in
Thank-you for reading all of this so far. I am now going to end with some of my thoughts about all of this.
As I stated in the first paragraph, it seems that most of the world is trying to find the answer to what Kevin did wrong. I found myself asking different questions when I heard the news. What was going on with Britney? Although Kevin seemed to be aware that there were some issues in his marriage in his interviews, he also seemed to believe that they were going to work them out and that they were "strong." How could he have been so wrong? I started looking over Britney's history. It was a little odd that she asked two guys to marry her within 6 months. She married quickly and informally, immediately got pregnant twice, and dumped her husband after the birth of their second child. She filed for divorce in quite a cold manner and asked for sole custody. Based on those facts alone it's easy to come to the conclusion that she simply wanted babies and basically tricked two guys into marrying her to achieve it.
But I'm going to give Britney the benefit of the doubt. Although I do think the babies and being a "young mom" were a priority for her, I'm going to assume that Britney was sincere when she married Kevin. I don't know what happened with Jason, so I'll just focus on Kevin. Part of the reason that I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt is that she really seemed to support him right up until the divorce. She announced Kevin at Teen Choice. She appeared on his album. They did a reality show together. If it was only about babies I would not expect these things to have happened. So what made her decide to end it? If I put myself in Britney's shoes I can come up with a few possible reasons. When Britney and Kevin met they were both partiers. They both drank, they both smoked. In Kevin's first Detail magazine interview Kevin swore up a storm, and Britney was right in there with him. Perhaps things started to change for Britney after Sean Preston was born. Britney stopped smoking, and Kevin didn't (although he did talk about quitting). Kevin in fact, decided to respond to the public mocking by making his behaviour more obvious. He did photoshoots with cigarettes and alcohol. He spent almost an entire album mocking the public back with talk of money and drugs. In his defense, his references to Britney and his family on the album and in interviews are really quite sweet, and I truly believe he loves them. But maybe Britney felt this image was not good for her, her sons, and her career. She was ready to be
My problem is this. Why did she have to divorce him in the way that she did? I have never seen a divorce so cold. To allow him to do all of these interviews without being aware of her plans. To make sure there was a nice picture of her smiling and looking thrilled when the news hit by appearing on David Letterman. To send the news by way of text message. She did everything in her power to encourage public celebration when she made the announcement. She completely and utterly betrayed the man she had been married to for two years, and to make matters worse she filed for sole custody. As a Britney fan I feel betrayed and angry myself, I can't even imagine how Kevin is feeling right now. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. You can't fire your husband the way you might fire your manager. No matter what happens they will always be the parents of Sean Preston and Jayden James, and if there are hard feelings, the people who are going to suffer the most are the children. So how could she do this to her children? Does she figure she can just get married to someone else and no harm done? Because it doesn't matter, a step-father may love those children very much, but Kevin Federline will always be their dad. He has always talked about how much all of his children mean to him. He does not deserve to be shut out of being an active part of Sean Preston and Jayden James lives the way he an active part of Kori and Kaleb's. Kevin may not be perfect but no parent is, and I've seen more nice things come out of his mouth when he talks about his childen then I have other fathers I know. Britney should know better. Let's say, worst case scenario, that Kevin really does have some major problems, like Britney's father who is an alcoholic. How would Britney have felt if her mother had shut him out of her life? I'm guessing not that great considering her second son is named after her dad.
Thanks for listening to my rant.