WWE RAW REPORT
OCTOBER 23, 2006
LIVE FROM CHICAGO, ILL.
-As the camera panned the crowd after the opening, Jim Ross said: "Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to the longest running entertainment broadcast in television history. This is the 700th episode of Monday Night Raw!"
-They went to clips of various entertainment TV shows giving publicity to the K-Fed and John Cena angle from last week's Raw, including E!'s Daily Ten, TV Guide Channel, VH1 Best Week Ever, and that ABC late night talk show with the squinty-eyed guy on from The Man Show. Hey, they left out Joe Scarborough on MSNBC covering the angle.
-Ross and Jerry Lawler plugged the main event of Raw would be a Triple H vs. Randy Orton rematch.
-Kevin Federline came out again this week to a chorus of boos. He said he was there again for one reason - payback. He said everybody was talking about his appearance on TV and the Internet. He said everyone has been talking about John Cena gave him an FU and humiliated him on national TV. He said he's not like the Chicago Cubs, "a loveable loser." He said he would get his revenge tonight. He introduced King Booker.
King Booker and Sharmell walked out onto the stage. Sharmell said King Booker had something to say. Booker said he listened to his CD "and it is a treasure." He sid he is a "gifted and talented ar-teest." He vowed that Cena would pay for his actions. He called K-Fed a trendsetter and all of the people int he crowd want to be like him. He said he would get revenge for K-Fed and win Cena's title at Cyber Sunday.
Big Show then walked out. He said he agreed that Cena's title should be on the line at the PPV. When he called Booker "Booker," Booker interrupted and said, "That's King Booker." Show said he'll call him whatever he pleases. They argued over who would be victorious at Cyber Sunday.
Then John Cena's music interrupted. Cena walked out and said, "I know what you're all thinking. Thishere is the dumbest line-up in the history of Celebrity Jeopardy." He then said he sees a "big... royal... pain in the ass." Cena joked that Show was in Ghost Busters as the big marshmellow man and in Return of the Jedi as Jabba the Hut. He said his newest role will be as the White Fat Albert. Booker laughed and Show chewed him out. He told Booker "You have officially lost your status as a black man" for calling K-Fed's new CD a "treasure." Out walked Ron Simmons, a/k/a Faarooq of the APA. Simmons grabbed mic, looked on at them with disgust, and said, "Damn!" Then he walked away. He said instead of playing with fire, K-Fed would have better luck playing with himself. For that type of segment, better than usual for WWE and Cena.
1 -- MICKEY JAMES vs. MELINA -- Women's Title Semi-Final
They were both very loud as they chopped and slapped and punched each other. Melina screamed after James kicked out after a neckbreaker. James caught Melina with an elbow as charged and gave her a DDT leading to the pin.
WINNER: Mickey James in 3:00.
STAR RATING: 3/4* -- Decent short women's match. Good intensity.
-They aired a clip of the finish of last week's Hunter vs. Orton main event, and said Orton demanded a rematch because of the way last week's match ended.
[Commercial Break - Everybody must watch the Borat movie, by the way]
-Ross announced that fans get to choose which wrestler - Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, or Johnny Nitro - will get a match against Jeff Hardy at Cyber Sunday. That's right, which match that you've seen in various incarnations for free do you want to see again on PPV.
2 -- JEFF HARDY & CARLITO vs. CHRIS MASTERS & SHELTON BENJAMIN
Ross and Lawler talked about this being the 700th episode of Raw. Ross said they've been together for most of them and they hope to have 700 more in them. Shelton beat on Hardy for a couple minutes including a mid-ring sleeper. Hardy punched his way to a comeback attempt, but Shelton cut him off with a knee. Hardy came back with a Whisper in the Wind, then dove to hot-tag Carlito. Carlito went after Shelton. Master entered the ring. Hardy cut him off. Carlito then flip sentoned onto both men followed by a springboard moonsault. Masters shoved Hardy into Carlito, then Shelton schoolboyed Carlito and used the ropes for leverage to score the pin. After the match, Carlito and Hardy argued and shoved each other. Masters and Shelton joined in the argument. Carlito and Hardy dumped them out of the ring, then went back to arguing.
WINNERS: Shelton & Masters in 4:00.
STAR RATING: *1/4 -- It's so sad to see the long-running, well-established friendship and alliance between Hardy and Shelton coming to a premature end. This tease of a break-up wouldn't have meant as much if these two didn't have such a long history on-air as friends and partners, though.
-They showed the outside of the arena and then showed some of the Chicago Bears play-fighting in the front row.
-Todd Grisham interviewed Orton and Edge backstage. Edge said last week was typical DX, with cheating and then crotch chops. Orton said, "We are Rated R-K-O." He said they are the two biggest superstars WWE has ever seen. Edge said they invited Vince McMahon, Coach, and Eric Bischoff to be at ringside.
-They shwoed Ross and Lawler on camera. They discussed the main event briefly, then cut to a clip of WWE "Superstars" commenting on who is tougher, John Cena the wrestler of the Marine he plays in the movie. Cena himself said it was the character in the Marine.
-Johnny Nitro and K-Fed talked backstage about Cena's music and acting. Nitro said he plans to prove he's better than Cena in the ring. K-Fed plugged his CD again and said he'd be there with Nitro for his match. Ross said it was up next.
3 -- JOHN CENA vs. JOHNNY NITRO (w/Melina, K-Fed)
Cena dominated early, but K-Fed distracted Cena, giving Nitro the opening to attack Cena from behind. At 3:00 Nitro backdropped Cena over the top rope to the floor, then K-Fed approached him and slapped him. That woke Cena up and he put his hands on his hips. Nitro then surprised Cena with a dive over the top rope. Back in the ring, Nitro put Cena in a mid-ring sleeper. Cena worked his way to his feet while still in the sleeper. Nitro shook his head and Cena dropped straight down. The ref began counting both men down. Cena got up and hit Nitro with two flying shoulder blocks and a running clothesline followed by a side slam. He glared at K-Fed at ringside, then signalled for and exected the Five Knuckle Shuffle. He then gave Nitro the FU for the clean pin as Melina cried at ringside.
WINNER: Cena in 7:00.
STAR RATING: *3/4 -- Solid TV match. They did a nice job building the tension between Cena and K-Fed, who is playing his role in WWE note-perfect. Not all "celebrities" from outside of wrestling know how to play up their role (i.e. the Jackass guy last week), but K-Fed plays it straight. That's the role Johnny Fairplay would have been great at when his reality star was shining brighter.
-Cena followed a backtracking K-Fed up the rampway. Just as he tripped and fell backward, and Cena moved in, Big Show and Booker came out and attacked Cena. They threw him back into the ring and double-teamed him.