'I DIDN'T REALIZE HOW MUCH PEOPLE LOVE TO HATE ME!'
IN WHICH K-FED, AMERICA'S MOST HATED, JUSTIFIES HIS EXISTENCE
By KEVIN FEDERLINE
After living in the shadow (and on the bank account) of wife Britney Spears, Kevin Federline steps out today with his own album.
October 31, 2006 -- YOU know, I'm a guy that's out to have a good time. My record, "Playing With Fire," out today, was just to get people to understand a little bit more who I am. There's no real, like, message. I mean the whole album's basically one big club record with a little bit of s--t-talking on it. I've paid everything for this album. I put so much hard work into this album. I went off and did this album by myself. Completely. Just like any other artist would have. And I'm not saying that it was completely too hard, because I had the means to do it. I made money. When me and my wife got together, me and her, we did the DVD "Britney and Kevin: Chaotic" together - that might have been a mistake. But then again, it might not have. I got a little piece of that.
I grew up in Fresno, Calif. I wasn't rich, I wasn't poor, you know, ever. My parents kept clothes on my back and food on the table. My dad was a mechanic and my mom worked in a bank. My parents split up when I was 8. I got a big family - a lot of it's stepbrothers, half-brothers, but we grew up together, most of us. I think I was around 12 when my dad got remarried - 10 or 12.
I started dancing a little bit when I was a teenager, when I was like 13. I quit when I was about 14. A lot of people, they were just like, "Well." Even when I went back at 18, 19 years old, all my friends, they weren't really into that. They joked about it here and there.
I dropped out of high school when I was in the ninth grade. My head wasn't there. It's not like I was the worst student, either. Like, I could do the work, but I didn't want to do the work. My dad was upset, of course. My father's biggest thing was, he wanted to see me graduate high school and go through the whole . . . you know. But the situations that were brought up in my life and the things that I went through, you know, he understood. You know, this is a hard thing for me, because, it's like, I don't like to, like, either glorify or put myself in a different light than what's being put out right now, you know?
So without saying too much, let's just say: My hands have been dirty, my hands have been clean. When I was 18, I went and got my GED.
I moved to L.A. It was tough. I had nothing. I stayed with friends - six people in a one-bedroom apartment. I didn't get a job - a couple of my friends loaned me a couple of hundred bucks. I was in a club one night and some talent agent saw me and he was like, "I want you to be at this audition tomorrow." Went to the audition, got the job, wound up on the road. Do you remember LFO? That was my first job.
That was her tour - opening up for my wife, in the future, that I had no idea about. She was the headliner. A lot of people say I danced for my wife, and I never have. I mean, I maybe was introduced to her once. You know, I was 21 - she was 16, 17. So I was like, you know, "all right." I looked at it different.
It wound up being good. You know, this is my first time traveling around the United States. I had been on a plane before, but, you know, not very far. I think I made $1,200 a week. It wasn't bad at all.
So I do that tour. It was only a few months. Then, come back to L.A. and struggle, again. Like, for months. Months and months and months.
It wasn't easy. I did what I had to do. Somehow, some way, I'd get by. My agent would loan me money here, loan me money there. My parents even helped me out a little bit at one point. Trust me, it was definitely bread and bologna. But I think having to go through things like that, situations like that, it defines who you are.
So I kept taking classes here and there, meeting the right people, trying to get in with the hip-hop crowd. For some people it's hard. It wasn't very hard for me. It's not like there's a bunch of haters. I mean, you have haters here, in that world, and it's a lot of gossipy bulls - - t, you know, and that's how I learned to deal with all the gossip now. It's from that, because L.A. is very much a gossip town. You don't see as many real people as you do when you go to New York unless you go to the 'hood out here.
I started working with everybody at one point. I got Pink's tour. Through that whole time dancing and stuff, I was in and out of the studio here and there trying to meet people on that side of the business.
I started this record about a year and a half ago. I didn't go for big-name producers. Eventually I will. I'm not trying to get credibility by somebody being on my s - - t. But it wouldn't be right not to put a record with my wife on it.
This is me telling everybody: This is where I stand, and from here, you won't hear me talk about this anymore. Maybe I'll make jokes about the media and the paparazzi later on, too, but it won't be as severe as it is on this album.
I honestly think the media is a give-and-take. It's not that I can say, Completely f - - k you. I could just only say, Halfway f - - k you. But I know why they do it. It's because they're making a lot of money. So I can't be mad at you. I come from a place where people do a lot of things to make money. So I cannot be mad at them. But I like that real journalism. I like putting other people's words in a sentence and making people, like, their faces light up about it. Not frown. Light up.
It's almost like, I didn't realize how much people love to hate me! It's crazy. I couldn't really point a finger. You know, maybe I blame myself, like, explaining to people what kind of dad I am, because I like to keep my private life private. You don't see pictures of me with my kids everywhere because I don't - that's not me. I want to do a book - the book is definite. It will be a biography of my life until I met my wife, so people will better understand who I am. I haven't done it yet. You know, I'll get a ghostwriter in there.
I want to go to Africa - I think it's a place where you can go and really, really help people and make a difference. And it's also a place I want to see - I'm into the safari animals and all that stuff. I grew up watching the Discovery Channel.
Before now, they put it out that I was always out, and I wasn't. Maybe in the last two years, before a couple of months ago, I maybe went out 10 times. And the other half of the time I was with my wife and she was with me at the club. But now I am out all the time, because I'm really trying to push this album. I feel like the more that people see your face, the more they'll be like, OK, I saw this guy in the club, he really doesn't seem like the dude they're talking about - let me go and buy his album.
But I never have cared what other people think about me. Because I'm Kevin, and that's it. There's no changing that.
- as told to Maureen Callahan
K-Fed's Top 5 weaknesses
"Their music is incredible, how it's completely put together and it's different and it all works."
"I love the shoes, I love the jeans, I love the jewelry, all that stuff. I'd find myself, whenever I was on tour and making a lot of money, my closets would just fill up with shoes."
3. His Sidekick
"I write all the time; I have a whole book in my Sidekick of different things, sayings. I'll be walking, and all of a sudden two bars of something will hit me, and I'll write it down in my Sidekick."
4. Phil Collins
"You know my dad was a big Phil Collins fan so I grew up on that. All of that."
5. Writer's block
"I don't understand [why it happens to me]. I'll just stop and back away from everything, go play golf, go out with the boys, get out of the house. Or play with the kids."
The Top 5 things K-Fed recently got
1. New F-logo tattoo (for Federline Records)
2. Limited-edition Nike Air Force Ones
3. F-logo chain (also for Federline Records)
4. Some cool 5 Star Vintage clothing (gets for free as spokesmodel)
5. And last but definitely not least - a healthy new baby!